What I first thought
by Grachie
Summary: This doctor has some real issues with where she works. Her diary reveals all.


**18st December 2001**

Yes, I got up late... yes I got up late, yes I GOT UP LATE!!, I recited in my head a couple of thousand times. Yes, I did - and it wasn't to my credit either.

I work as an S.H.O - not a surgeon, but still, but hey that's now changed hasn't it? I was only there a YEAR! Well, I think its rather EARLY for my first placement, don't you? Well, they didn't seem to think so (they being the trust at my previous hospital). Argh! I have to work on PAEDIATRICS! I never even liked kids! I want to be a cardiologist, not a paediatric doctor!

I first found out last weekend (its now Tuesday, ooh how time passes when you're having fun! Not quite.) via e-mail. The... _people_ at the board couldn't even tell me TO MY FACE! How bad is that!? Saturday - to be specific. My favourite day! AND my day off - I suppose they gave me the day off to give me the great news! Thank you for the perfect christmas present - blah de blah, and oh yeah, you're being transferred. Jesus.

I bet you're wondering why I can't just grin and bear it. Well, I was TRAINED to be a cardiologist... five or so years in medical school! Well, that was hell in itself. Apparently, I just about managed to pass the exams - but I bet they're lying 'cos I did better than everyone else... well, if I think I did badly I'm not gonna get anywhere am I?

Yes, I got up late, yes, I got up late, YES, I GOT UP LATE!!! Wel, I'd better get a move on - I might not like what I see when I get there, oh dear - if only you could see my face right now!

Oh joy, the car won't start. "Start you stupid thing! START!" I scream at it - but of course it wouldn't listen! I got up late AND the car is messed up. NOTHING ever goes MY way does it? I'm starting to wonder exactly why I became a doctor! Still, I'm there now. Right that's it - I'm walking... I just hope I'm not too late...

Yes, I was very very very late - an hour and a half in fact. At least I'm here now - and I'm dead hungry - I can't wait till my break... but I guess i'm gonna have to!

_Holby City Hospital - Wyvern Wing_ read the sign. So I'm working here? Yes, said a voice in my head, of course you are. So, I might as well walk in instead of pondering my life outside. Maybe I can get more sense out of someone in here, rather than a solid brick wall. (I scare myself too sometimes.)

All of a sudden, an extremely tall man with a stubble came right past me - me being only five foot two - I thought he was tall! I managed to get the confidence to ask him the way to Otter Ward (after what seemed like forever confering with my brain...) He said, "Take the lift to 5th floor." I said my thanks and made my way towards the lift... well, tried to... where were the lifts? Oh right, in front of me. Stupid me. I stepped into the lift and a short-haired blonde woman shoved in front of me, insisting she was late. I was about to argue - but she disappeared onto the 4th floor. I was late myself!

So this is Otter Ward? I said to myself. Lets see if I can survive. Well, try to. Then a man came up to me.  
"You must be Emily Williams. Hi, charge nurse, Steve Waring," and he held his hand out. I shook his hand. "So you're the new SHO?" he said animatedly.  
"Yes, I am. I have to see someone called..." at that moment I a pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from my pocket and read it. "... Dr. Janice Taylor... Is that right?". I could only just make out my handwriting - typical doc's handwriting.  
"Yes, I think she's been expecting you." Oh great I thought. She's been expecting you for an hour and a half! "Her office is this way..." he trailed off as my mobile went off. "You're not allowed those in here." she said warningly.  
"I know, sorry, I just forgot." Of course I know that - I AM A DOCTOR YOU KNOW! Of course, I said this in my head to myself and not to him - I wouldn't want to be unpopular now, would I?

I was thinking about food all the way to Dr. what's-her-name's office - and I wasn't going to stop thinking there and then.

"Dr. Williams. Hi, I'm Dr. Taylor." and again, she also held her hand out. I haven't time for pleasantries I thought. Yes, I'm a thinker. Keeps me sane in this job. I'm going to need sanity. "Please sit down" I heard as I came back to reality.

"I'm the consultant paediatrician on this ward" Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you!!! again, I thought. "Yes.", "And I expect you to do what I say when I tell you. Is that clear?" "Yes." Well, that was a bombshell - oh, nice to meet you too. Just because you've got a few letters after your name... and then again, so have I. She must have given that speech a few million times. Oh well, you won't want to get on the wrong side of me, miss. "Now, let me introduce me to the team Dr. Williams... Dr. Williams?" I was in another one of my daydreams... then I finally snapped out of it. "Dr. Williams, I expect all my staff to be alert.", " Sorry." But what was I to be sorry for? Oh well, forget it for now. You can eat later.

"This is Keri McGrath." Oh damn, that's the cow that pushed in front of me earlier. I frowned at her smiling face and her face fell too and then she went over to Steve and whispered in his ear... I could make out my name being mentioned. "And this is Danny Shaughnessy..." Ooh, at least there's something good on this ward. But, too bad - he's got a wedding ring on his finger... unlike me. Good thing too. Most men aren't worth it!

After Dr. Taylor gave me a long long long lecture that seemed to drone on for ages (actually - it was only twenty minutes, but in my view, that's forever) she told me to get working on the paper rounds. "Paper Rounds??" I said loudly. "No, _ward_ rounds!" Oops, that's another mistake in two hours. "Sorry...", "No need for apologies, Dr. Williams, just stay with us." I'll try...

A bit later, as my break approached (which now seems like a heaven-send) Keri McWatcha-call-it came swanning up to me.  
"What?" I said in monotone.  
"Oh, did you know you're the replacement for Victoria Merrick?"  
"And..."  
"And she was murdered about six months ago." I still remained uninterested.  
"Yeah, whatever..."  
"Don't say I didn't warn you...". Couldn't trust what she said. As soon as the clock struck two. I headed for the stairs. Last thing I heard was Dr. Williams... emergency... oh great, Dr. Taylor wants my attention when it's my break.

About half an hour later all was well again and again, I was headed for the flight of stairs, when the phone went off at the nurses station... no-one seemed to be around so I picked it up and answered. I then saw another man (are they taking over world?) in a black suit and seemed to think he was all-authority. "Excuse me..."  
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?"  
"I'd prefer it if you'd address senior staff with more decorum."  
"Why?" Oops, now that was wrong to say.  
"Because I am Mr. Meyer"  
"So what? I'm a very busy doctor." He looked at me blankly.  
"Just pass these onto Dr. Taylor," and he handed me a ton of files. And they literally were a ton. I put them to the side and Little Miss Sunshine (aka Keri) approached me.  
"What?"  
"I think you'll find Mr. Meyer is the clinical director of the hospital." Before I had a chance to breathe she had disappeared round a corner, smirking.

The rest of the day went (suprisingly) smoothly. Keri's still a pain however. Dr. Taylor's alright I guess. Oh, there's something kinder there. Steve's... well... he's alright too, but I get on well with Danny. He's excellent. Shame he's married - I could have been well in with a chance otherwise. And don't tell me there's plenty other fish in the sea...

But that Mr. Meyer is just plain... rude! How annoying! Just 'cause he's a higher rank to me - does NOT mean he can... downsize me... (word?) like that... English was never my speciality.

However, I guess paeds is alright, I might even enjoy it here. I just hope it goes OK. As long as I don't have to work with Meyer... thinking about it... that wouldn't be all bad... he's quite good-looking under all that nastiness...


End file.
